


When I win your heart

by narayu



Series: Until I met you. [6]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-09
Updated: 2013-12-09
Packaged: 2018-01-04 03:44:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1076155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narayu/pseuds/narayu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some more drabbles about Captain Swan that have been featured on my tumblr. Some are fic requests, some are my own brain just not letting go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When I win your heart

She was meeting him for coffee, that was all. It wasn't because she had chosen him, it was more to appease her parents, and frankly she felt a little guilty for standing him up for lunch at Granny's. Gold was trying to figure out a way to deal with the Pan-in-Henry's-body situation and she had been told on multiple occasions throughout the day that there was nothing she could do. Since she was starting to feel like more of an annoyance than a help, she had decided to take an hour off. So she had agreed to coffee. 

When she walked into the diner, she almost felt bad when she saw the way Neal's face lit up at the sight of her. Part of her wished she could share the same sentiment, it would be easier for everyone involved if she could fall into a life with the father of her son.  _All involved except Hook_ , her subconscious reminded and she ignored the thought. The truth was that she wasn't sure what to feel about Hook and she currently had no idea what she was supposed to feel about any of this.

She sat down and Ruby brought over a cup of hot chocolate. Neal was still smiling and seemingly waiting for her to say something, but she wasn't exactly sure what to say.

"So." she landed on, mentally cursing herself for such a lame opener.

"So." he agreed with amusement in his eyes, and she just laughed a nervous laugh. She was starting to think this was a mistake.

"Granny must be busy with all the new tenants," she said finally, silently counting the lost boys and Tink, and then wondering if Hook was staying here too, and momentarily feeling a tinge of jealousy when she remembered seeing him and Tink run out from the back of the building the night before. She had no reason to be jealous, but she was 100% sure that was his goal.

"Yeah, well, I think she likes having the boys around, and I guess Tink has been helping out a lot." Neal answered, breaking Emma out of her thoughts. She nodded and he continued.

"You know, I'm surprised Hook isn't hear nursing a bottle of something." he said, surprising her with the mention of his apparent competition and she cocked her head to the side and raised an eyebrow in question.

"I mean, he told me he was going to back off, but I figured he was just baiting me. I was sure he'd be here." he told her and she was shocked. 

"What do you mean back off?" she asked him quietly, sure she knew the answer.

Neal shrugged as though the answer was obvious. 

"Back off where you're concerned, said he'd give us a chance to be a family." 

This revelation made her furious, and Emma couldn't put her finger on why that was. She had made no choices on the matter of her heart, and while Mary Margaret kept insisting she owed it to herself to be a family with her son and his father, she thought Hook would be the absolute last person who'd agree.

"Are you alright?" Neal was asking her, and she stared down at her empty mug before making a decision.

"You know, this probably wasn't a good time to do this, Neal." she told him apologetically. "I've got so much on my mind with this new curse fiasco and I really want to go and check on progress with Gold." she said, already getting up and putting on her coat. He was nodding, seeming unfazed by her sudden desire to leave and he stood to hug her.

"Another time then." he said softly and she just nodded into his shoulder before turning to leave.

She hoped he wouldn't notice when she turned toward the docks instead of the pawn shop.

\----

"You said you'd back off?" she said in a voice louder than absolutely necessary as she stood on the dock facing the Jolly Roger. She couldn't  _see_ him, but she could hear him moving around and knew he could hear her. He popped his head out a moment later.

"Good afternoon to you as well, lass, would you like to come aboard?" he asked her with a smirk, ignoring her question and frustrating her more than she already had been.

"I'm fine right here, Hook. Did you tell Neal you were going to  _back off?_ " she asked again, emphasizing each of the last two words, hearing the anger seeping into her voice and not even trying to make an excuse for it.

He was standing in front of her now, at the top of the gang plank with his head cocked slightly and one eyebrow raised. They stood there for a long minute and Emma thought he wasn't going to answer her when he finally shrugged.

"Aye, is there a problem?" he questioned and she really didn't know what to say. Yes, there was a problem, but _why?_ She had told both of them that didn't have room for anyone in her heart but Henry. Neal had told her he wouldn't stop fighting for her, Hook had told her he'd win her heart, both statements had annoyed her at the time.  _Had they?_  Asked her traitorous subconscious and she ignored it once again. So why was she annoyed now that Hook had given up.

That was it. That was the reason she was annoyed. He had given up, just like Neal had given up when August came to him 11 years ago and told him to.

"I just figured you weren't the kind of man to make a statement that you were going to win someone's heart and then give up a few days later." she told him, trying to sound nonchalant, shrugging, knowing she was failing. But she obviously struck a nerve because he took three long strides toward her until he was off the plank and on the deck in front of her.

"Give up?" he asked her incredulously in a low voice that made her hold back a shiver. "Is that what you think I'm doing, Swan?"

She stared at him. Of course that's what he was doing, wasn't it? And the confusion must have been evident on her face because he took a small step closer and whispered:

"Let me clear it up for you, love. I'm not giving up, I meant everything I said on that bloody island." she looked at him doubtfully. "When I told Baelfire that I was going to back off, what I meant was that I was going to let you decide."

Emma blinked. 

"Decide what?" she asked in a tight voice.

"If you were willing to trust him again." he said simply and when she didn't say anything, he continued. "I did tell him I'd back off, darling, but I also told him I was in it for the long haul." his eyes bore into hers, as if he was willing her to see the truth in his words, and she did.

"You're it for me, Emma," he assured her, voice thick and quiet, "but I won't fight until you're ready to be fought for."

There was something in his voice, in his eyes, an intensity that seemed to reach right through her, and Emma felt something snap in her. She was struck by his sincerity, his honesty, and his understanding of something about her that it seemed no one else had picked up on. It was  _her_ choice, and she needed time to make it. After everything they'd all been through and were about to go through, now was not that time.

His face was mere inches from hers and she looked from his eyes to his lips for just a moment before letting herself closing the distance between them. 

It was nothing like the passion-fueled kiss they shared in Neverland. This was a soft, gentle touch of the lips, a promise, a thank you. She wanted him to know that she wasn't writing him off, that she appreciated the consideration he was offering her by giving her space. His hand reached up to cup her cheek and his thumb traced light circles there. 

When she pulled away, he leaned forward just a bit so that his forehead rested against hers and they stayed like that for what felt like a long time before she nodded and then spoke.

"Thank you." she said simply, her hand finding his and squeezing gently before she turned to go back to town. Somehow this man, this  _pirate,_ had known her and seen through her walls from the very first time they'd met. She wasn't sure if that's the reason she felt constantly reassured by him, but she decided she wouldn't take it for granted.

Emma smiled a private smile as she walked back to the loft from the docks. Pirate or no, she had found an unlikely friend in Killian Jones, and only time would tell if she was going to let it become more.  _It already has,_ said the voice in the back of her mind. Someday she might have to start listening to that voice, but now was not that time.

 

* * *

 

It wasn’t the same since they’d been back, hadn’t been the same since visiting Dark Hollow. He was giving her space, respecting her assertion that Henry was the only love she had room for in her life. 

Maybe it was the fact that Neal  _wasn’t_  respecting that, or maybe she missed the teasing and innuendos and that’s why she was so damned annoyed at Hook. Whatever the reason, she found herself walking aboard his ship after too many shots of whiskey late one night when Henry was staying at Regina’s. 

He was waiting, probably having heard her walking up the gangplank in her not-so-stealthy boots. And he stood there with an unreadable expression on his face, letting her find the words to explain what had brought her there.

It’s not like she could brush it off with some random excuse, any possible reason she had for being there could have waited until morning. And there was something about the way his eyes bore into her that reminded her he probably already knew the reason anyway. 

Actions and not words were how Emma expressed herself. Hook was one of the few people who saw the words behind her eyes even when her walls were firmly in place.

 _'You're afraid to reveal yourself.'_ he had told her the first time they met. He had been so right from day one and it infuriated her.

Every time she felt him getting under her skin she’d throw the pirate thing in his face. It had never worked, not really, but she kept spitting the word out at him in some manner of defense, watching as he smirked knowingly back at her.

She had just made up her mind to act and not talk when he finally spoke.

"Emma." his tone was low and quiet, spoken as a warning. He knew why she was there, had known since she took her first step onto the ship, and he was dangerously close to rejecting her advances before they’d even started.

 _No!_  Her subconscious screamed. If she let him stop her now she’d have to face the reality of everything, of the choices she had yet to make, of the pain they’d all been through, the near deaths, the secrets, the truths. She was here because she couldn’t face it, not yet, not so soon, maybe not ever. So she took a deliberate step toward him and watched as he followed suit, almost as though he couldn’t help himself, like they were two magnets being drawn together by an unseen force.

When they met in the middle her hands slid along the collar of his jacket, not yanking like before but just following the edges down while she looked everywhere but in his eyes.

"Emma." he warned again, the resolve slipping, her name breathed as though the last of the air was being forced out of his lungs in the shape of her name and she shivered at the sound.

She knew he wanted her, she was taking advantage of that right now, had been taking advantage of that for a long time and she felt awful for it. But she  _needed_ him now.  _And you want him too._  Her subconscious reminded, but she ignored it. She wouldn’t admit that, not to him or herself. For all intents and purposes she was using him to feel something other than exhaustion after what they’d been through. Just using him. That’s all.

When she took the last step and their bodies were pressed against each other with nothing but the halting breaths between them, she tugged against his coat to pull him to her and he didn’t stop her, didn’t resist, just fell into the necessity of it all. Mouths melting together with a hunger and passion of something more than Emma was willing to focus on.

There was an unspoken understanding between them that this was not going to be a sweet, tender, loving first time -  _only time_ she told herself - between them. When he stopped wordlessly warning her away, hitched her legs up so they wrapped around his waist, and carried her into his cabin, she knew she was getting what she wanted.

He fucked her against the wall without either of them taking off any article of clothing completely. It was what she wanted, and in the moment when she was filled with him and her body was on fire with the sensations before her vision blurred and she felt herself fall from heights unknown at his bidding, she was thankful for it. But when her breathing regulated and she opened her eyes to see something unexpected in his - concern maybe - she felt ashamed.

Without having to push or say a word, he disentangled himself from around and inside of her and moved backwards to give her space. She straightened her skirt and smoothed out her jacket before meeting his eyes. The concern was gone, replaced with the cool unreadable mask he’d worn when she arrived and she found herself annoyed again.

"So I, uh -" she started, not quite sure how to speak to the situation, what she wanted to say, so she just kind of turned to leave. He caught her wrist with his hook and she snapped her head back to glare at him.

"This was a one time thing, Swan." he whispered in that low warning voice that caused heat to surge through her anew before she registered the words and had a moment to feel shock before simply nodding.

"No, look at me." he growled and she met his eyes again. "I know why you came, even if you’re not quite sure yet, but I meant what I said in Neverland."

Emma flinched involuntarily at the name of the hell hole where she’d almost lost everyone and he stepped closer so she could feel his breath against her ear as he spoke.

"I will fight to win your heart, Emma." he breathed as a shiver ran down her spine. "But I will not be used for your amusement  _again_  until you’re ready to admit that I have.” 

 _Bested him again,_ her subconscious mocked. But if she had gotten what she wanted, then why did it feel like such an empty victory.  _You know why_ , came the voice in her head.

And she thought maybe she did know, but she wasn’t ready to admit it. So Emma Swan nodded, showing him she acknowledged his warning, mumbled that it wouldn’t happen again, and walked out of the cabin.

—-

Part of Killian Jones thought he could take whatever Emma Swan was willing to give him, even if it was just a quick fuck in his cabin after she’d had a few drinks and thought through a few regrets.

But the other part of him knew they both deserved more than that. Telling her she couldn’t come back again, not for this reason, not under these pretenses, could mean she wouldn’t come back at all. But he had seen the shock, the hurt, the disappointment in her eyes when he said it. He thought maybe he had seen something more beneath all of it, and he hoped that just maybe that would be the part that would win out.

Emma needed time, that much was obvious, and Killian was certainly a patient man.

* * *

 

Torture. That was the only way to describe the feeling of watching Emma and her family reunite and feeling like he didn’t belong. Of watching everyone exchange hugs and being the odd one out.

He was surprised by how much pure relief he felt when Henry opened his eyes again, at that moment he wasn’t even thinking about impressing Emma, he was just genuinely happy to know that the lad was okay.

But now, weeks after returning to Storybrooke and feeling that same sensation of not belonging there, Hook was wondering if it would be better for everyone if he made himself scarce.

He told himself he wasn’t giving up, but doing what was best for her. Emma, Bae, Henry, they were a family and he had watched them spend time together over the past few weeks, bonding, and he was just beginning to feel unwanted. It seemed she’d made her choice, he would find her and let her know he was removing himself from the equation, giving her space to live her life. It was the honorable thing to do.

——

Emma had made her choice, she just didn’t know how to bring it up in conversation. It’s not like she had been in any way intimate with either Hook or Neal since returning from Neverland. She’d spent a great deal more time with Neal because they were trying to work out how they all fit in each others’ lives. There were plans to be made with Henry as far as when he would spend time with who. She knew he was trying to win her back, however, and she needed to have a conversation with both him and Hook before it was too late. She decided to speak to Neal first, and invited him to the loft for a drink.

—-

He had run into Snow at Granny’s and learned that she hadn’t seen Emma most of the day but assumed she was home at the loft. He told himself he’d walk in and say what he had to say and leave, setting sail at dawn. Quick and simple. He hadn’t even had a moment to consider she wouldn’t be alone and when he opened the door calling out ‘Swan?’ he was stopped in his tracks by the sight of her in a tight embrace with Baelfire.

She jumped back at the sound of his voice, looking startled like she was going to say something, but he was already turning to leave.

"This was a bad idea, my apologies lass." he mumbled before closing the door behind him.

"Hook, wait!" she called after him, but he was down the stairs and exiting the building before she caught up. It was pouring rain outside, and he couldn’t help but think that it was appropriate for his mood when she came barreling out of the building’s front door and joined him on the street.

"Hook -" she started but he held up his hand to halt her words.

"It’s alright, love, I shouldn’t have barged in without a warning. Go ahead and finish your date, I’ll be out of your hair before you know it." he said with a smirk, knowing the levity was not reaching his eyes. 

She looked taken aback momentarily, as though his words didn’t make sense to her and he kept speaking, seemingly unable to stop the words that were flowing from his lips.

"Don’t worry, lass, I’ll be setting sail at dawn. I’m happy we were able to retrieve your family, but it’s clear you’ve made your choice and I intend to respect your wishes." he nodded, turning from her once again so he wouldn’t see her, wouldn’t feel the despair that threatened to engulf him when he met her eyes.

He had taken three steps before she spoke, so quiet compared to the roar of the wind and the rain.

"Don’t go." she whispered.

"Why?" he asked and it came out harsher than he had intended, but she didn’t seem affected.

"You’re right, I did make my choice." she said, and he just nodded again, refusing to look at her. "But you’re wrong about what that choice was."

For a moment he couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t possibly be saying what it sounded like. He just saw her in there with Neal, embracing like lovers. He turned ever so slightly and it seemed that she was the one reading him like a book this time.

"It was a goodbye. He’s going back to New York, we worked out the details with Henry, and I was just saying goodbye." she said, speaking up this time, making sure he could hear her, making sure he understood what she was saying. He was facing her fully now and she was walking toward him with hesitation evident in her eyes, and when he felt the fear fade from his face she nearly ran the last few steps before throwing her arms around his neck.

"Don’t go, don’t go." she said against his neck as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him, relishing the feel of her body against his, the desperation in her voice at the thought that he might have been leaving. "It’s you, Killian, I choose you." she explained as the rain drenched them both and he let out a relieved laugh before kissing her with everything he had.

When he pulled away to look in her eyes, she was smiling the most beautiful of smiles and it was all for him. Killian Jones didn’t know if he’d ever felt so happy as he did in that moment.

"I’m not going anywhere, love." he promised before kissing her again.

 


End file.
